想要在DSE英國語文科試卷二寫作中取得5星星的優秀成績？
Want to score 5** in the DSE English Language Paper 2 Writing Section?
除了學習更多有用的英文寫作技巧和句式，你應該看看已取得5星星成績的作文示例。
In addition to learning more useful English writing skills and sentence patterns, you should look at examples of essays that have scored 5**.
本文提供的範文取自考評局每年的考生表現示例中的等級5作文。作文題目來源於新聞報導。
The sample essay provided in this article is taken from the level 5 example in the Samples of Candidates' Performance posted by the HKEAA each year. The question of the essay comes from a news report.
原文經過我們的專業英語導師修改。我們更正了所有文法和串字錯誤，以及用字不當的情況，同時嚴格保留原文內容，確保盡可能接近5星星水平。
The original text was revised by our professional English tutor. We corrected all grammatical and spelling errors, as well as improper use of words/ phases, while strictly retaining the original content to ensure that it is as close to the 5** level as possible.
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Learning English through Sport Communication
2020 Part B question 5
Some people think that the International Olympic Committee should include a greater variety of sports in the Olympic Games. However, for a sport to be considered a new Olympic event, it must meet the following criteria: 1) appeal to young people; 2) promote gender equality; 3) attract media coverage.
The IOC is inviting the public to suggest sports to be included in future Olympics. You would like to propose Dragon Boat Racing.
Write a letter to the President of the IOC.
Give reasons to support your opinion.
Dear President,
I am writing to propose Dragon Boat Racing as a brand new Olympic event that can attract young people, help to cancel out sexual stereotypes, and appeal to the media. Dragon Boat Racing — a traditional event held by Chinese people over hundreds of years, truly deserves a place at the Olympic Games in different ways.
Generally considered as a fast-paced competition, the Dragon Boat race provides excitement to youngsters which attracts them to participate. According to a statistic recorded by the Hong Kong Dragon Boat Association, during the race, the boats can attain a speed up to 15 meters per second, which is faster than the sprinting speed of a regular adult. Moreover, the event requires members to work as a team rowing the boat paddle back and forth constantly and rapidly. Working as a team during the race, youngsters can work along with their friends and enjoy the thrilling Dragon Boat Race.
As a non-mainstream sport, even though Dragon Boat Race itself does not possess much popularity among young people, I am confident that it will attract young people due to its high intensity. Young people nowadays often hope to ‘burn calories’ and lose weight and Dragon Boat Race is exactly an event they would enjoy. Statistics have already revealed that when participating in a Dragon Boat Race, The amount of calories burnt is 1.5 times more than playing basketball, equivalent to rope skipping. It is believed that under promotion, young people will surely join this sport as they can lose weight and work along with friends simultaneously.
Apart from attracting youngsters, this event also promotes gender equality in two ways.
As a sport originated in China — a male-dominated place where Dragon Boat Race is often participated by males. It is imaginable that if China opens up the event to females, it will indisputably spread a message to the global — canceling sexual stereotypes. If a country well known for its ‘male-dominated culture’ opens up its mind, it is sure that other countries are glad to follow and work as a team to get rid of sexual inequality. It is believed that the action of providing an opportunity for females to join the race will inspire other countries to put down their conventional thoughts on sexual stereotypes.
Apart from that, Dragon Boat Race itself is not only designed for males despite its high intensity. Taking the coordination between participants as an example, male members are often found incoherent when paddling and propelling the boat causing their boat to move slowly. With this act, female players can take advantage of it, practicing more and attain good coordination with teammates and perform well. The above example clearly illustrates that Dragon Boat Race is not an event that only requires definite strength but also cooperation between teammates. It is suggested that this special feature of Dragon Boat Race brings an indispensable message that females can perform better than males.
Moreover, Dragon Boat Racing can also attract media coverage. The Dragon Boat can be decorated into different styles, during the Olympic Games each country can decorate their dragon or place the mascot that can represent their own country. For example, for Hong Kong, a Bauhinia flower can be used to decorate the boat. Although during the Olympic Games, every event consists of a ferocious competition between countries, Dragon Boat Race has the advantage of spreading culture. Having this unique feature among all Olympic events, Dragon Boat Race can stand out and attract the media to report the design on boats, investigating what the decorated boats represent.
Dragon Boat Race can also attract media coverage as it promotes gender equality. A piece of recent news from Iran also attracted the media, Iran women are allowed to attend sports events for 40 years. It is believed that the Dragon Boat Race can also gain popularity similar to the policy of Iran.
As a person who is obsessed with Dragon Boat Racing, it is hoped that Dragon Boat Racing can be an event in the Olympics. I sincerely hope that the above-proposed event can be an international event to spread the crucial message — sexual equality.
Yours faithfully
Chris Wong
Chris Wong
(699 words)
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