想要在DSE英國語文科試卷二寫作中取得5星星的優秀成績？
Want to score 5** in the DSE English Language Paper 2 Writing Section?
除了學習更多有用的英文寫作技巧和句式，你應該看看已取得5星星成績的作文示例。
In addition to learning more useful English writing skills and sentence patterns, you should look at examples of essays that have scored 5**.
本文提供的範文取自考評局每年的考生表現示例中的等級5作文。作文題目來源於新聞報導。
The sample essay provided in this article is taken from the level 5 example in the Samples of Candidates' Performance posted by the HKEAA each year. The question of the essay comes from a news report.
原文經過我們的專業英語導師修改。我們更正了所有文法和串字錯誤，以及用字不當的情況，同時嚴格保留原文內容，確保盡可能接近5星星水平。
The original text was revised by our professional English tutor. We corrected all grammatical and spelling errors, as well as improper use of words/ phases, while strictly retaining the original content to ensure that it is as close to the 5** level as possible.
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Learning English through Workplace Communication
2020 Part B question 4
You work for the Park Hotel in Hong Kong. You would like to apply for a work transfer to the Shanghai branch of the hotel.
Write a letter to Mr. Wong, your manager.
Highlight your work experience, why you would like to transfer and how your transfer will benefit the organization
Dear Mr. Wong,
I am writing to apply for a work transfer to the Shanghai Branch of Park Hotel.
As an experienced staff member of the hotel, I am devoted to working in Park Hotel and worked for six years. After I graduated from the university, I joined Park Hotel. I am very proud to be dedicating myself to the hotel here in Hong Kong. Throughout the six years. I have been in contact with a great variety of working affairs and fortunately have been assigned to several positions. For instance, I used to be tackling customers’ reviews and demons. I have helped to solve different problems focusing on customer service, such as explaining to customers about home to use our cutting-edge technology. SmartApp, and making records about the complaints or suggestions. Apart from having a plentiful experience of working in different positions, I am also well-prepared to serve foreign customers or customers from mainland China, for example, the well-known soccer superman Lionel Messi and the great musician Lang Lang. Therefore, I am confident about my experience and ability
Aside from my work experience, I would like to provide a complete explanation about why I would like to have a work transfer. I will appreciate your understanding very much.
The major reason is that I would like to broaden my horizon by visiting different locations. As the Shanghai Park Hotel settles in a world-renowned dynamic city, I am sure that I can acquire new experiences and knowledge there, such as the culture and trend and these elements can assemble a better and fully prepared person, shaping me a better and fully-prepared person, shaping myself into one who has adequate wisdom and charming qualities. I always hold a belief in “ he that goes to know more'' Therefore I have great passion in striving to be a better one, thus I have a strong desire to give a shot on work transfer. Besides, the other reason involves my family. As my family has decided to reside in Shanghai, I need to apply for a week's transfer in case I can take care of them. By now, the best option I have may be to apply for a work transfer to Shanghai.
Nevertheless, my transfer is beneficial to the organization, and I promise I will work wholeheartedly to serve every customer and the organization.
As the Shanghai Park Hotel has just finished its construction by last month, there may be a lack of manpower, especially for experienced staff members. Hereby, I can promise that my arrival at the Shanghai Park Hotel will presumably contribute to its maintenance and high-quality service. I am experienced enough to deal with any kinds of emergencies and unexpected situations. Also, I can provide personal advice and tailor-made training to the new staff members, to nourish their ability and adaptability of serving a vast working number of customers. What’s more, it is believed that I can act as a bridge between Shanghai Park Hotel and Hong Kong Park Hotel, by exchanging information and making further communication on the administrative affairs. Therefore, the organization can benefit through my transfer eventually.
In a nutshell, I am enthusiastic about having a work transfer to the Shanghai Branch of the hotel. I deeply believe I can create a satisfactory contribution to the organization.
Yours sincerely
Chris Wong
(555 words)
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